We've all seen people who promise a way to bring about a change in the sick way that women have been objectified in 'Modern India' and more chocolates for everyone at subsidized rates. But when it comes to fulfilling their promises, they always say that it is all fattening and bad for your health. All that their promises do, is bring about an adrenaline rush for a while and that's that.
Why do I write this you ask? I write this because I was denied. I'm not writing this because someone made a false promise about 'Modern India'. Or because someone promised me chocolate that never will be. No. I write this, simply because I was denied. I couldn't care less. However, on second thoughts, a denied chocolate wouldn't hurt that much. Anyway, coming back to the point. I was denied one of my favorite things in the entire world. I was denied of,
*drumrolls*
*more drumrolls*
*now I'm just screwing with you*
*anyway*
I was denied of sleeping comfortably.
Nobody tied me to the bedpost or made me sleep on a bed of nails or made me sleep in the same room as KRK. No offense to the homeless, but I love sleeping comfortably. Who doesn't? Would you like sleeping in a sauna? I mean, yeah sure, you might fall asleep while you're in there, but that's not the point. The point is, that everyone has a right to sleep comfortably.
Sleeping comfortably might have a lot of factors to it. Some people can't sleep when its dark, some people can't sleep alone and some people can't sleep without their heads up their asses. Well, sleep however you want to sleep homie! Your call! However, one of the factors that make me sleep comfortably, are SHORTS. And shorts are the reason I am taking a dig at 'Modern India'.
Hey! Modern India! I wear shorts to bed. Sometimes, the blasphemy lover that I am, I even go out in them. And I don't even have a penis! So many lost sanskaars. No?
Why was I denied wearing shorts to bed you ask? 'Because the accommodation for us could be as such where guys and girls might get the same dorm. So, please forward this message to all girls to NOT BRING SHORTS TO WEAR AT NIGHT *because it is a capital offense to wear shorts to bed when guys are in the room next to you*" - Random College Representative.
Now, I'm not taking a dig at the representative, it is just that this is stupid. Maybe they should start taking classes separately for girls and guys. I mean, that guy's leg keeps touching my chair in class. He could rape me for all we know! What in the world is wrong with people? How can we expect the educated to educate the uneducated about the importance of letting women breathe freely in the society when they are the ones who impose all the rules and codes of conduct on them?
This is one of those bhaiiya-2-rs-ka-end-of-the-world-dena posts. All because I was denied from wearing shorts. This isn't just about shorts. I wear tracks to bed when its cold. This is about free will. And how people (read: women) don't have free will in India, nay, Modern India.
Women shouldn't, nay, MUST NOT feel the need to hide under layers of clothing to prove that they're of good character. Or mind how they walk or sit or talk or conduct themselves publicly. Or how they shit or stink or sweat or fart or piss or BREATHE OR DIE. All of this minding ourselves for what? So that the society says:
"Arrey Mrs. Sharma, ladki susheel hai. Hath se nikal jaye usse pehle rishta pakka karke aaiye Mrs. Verma ke ghar jaake."
And not:
"Nahi nahi Mrs. Sharma, forget about her only! Maine kal hi uss ladki ko DO DO ladko ke sath dekha tha movie theatre me jaate hue. Aur woh bhi SHORTS pehenke. How inviting she was looking, I tell you!"
Huh?
You wouldn't have had to waste your time reading this if they hadn't asked me to not bring shorts to wear to bed tomorrow night. If only people didn't suck, this world would be a better place to live in. For women. Yeah, you read that right.
